


An Awakening

by Messedup4ever



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: A Hot stove, Awakening, Everlasting Love, Lost Love, M/M, Realisation of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 21:56:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13533339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Messedup4ever/pseuds/Messedup4ever
Summary: Spurred on by the hot stove spoiler the entirety of the Robron fandom is going crazy for as we beg for scraps about the reunion.This is just my take on their Valentine's Day moment and the awakening of feelings it evokes in Aaron Dingle.A certain missing watch makes an appearance and the wearabouts of the wedding rings too.It's a little fluffy, maybe a little deep in places but it's definitely true to Robron.It's just a bit of fun I wrote it in a morning, nevertheless I hope you like it all feedback is welcome as always.





	An Awakening

**An Awakening**

Robert wasn't sure how he got roped into this to be quite honest, he guesses partly because of the fact that he really was a fantastic cook, but maybe more realistically because it was Aaron that asked for his help. I mean what harm could it do they were over, right? He'd let him go that solemn January evening in the Woolpack the many pints of beer acting as his only comfort. Yeah It would be a little weird but he wanted to help Aaron, he knows giving him the perfect Valentine's Day would make him happy and Robert Sugden wasn't about to stand in the way of Aaron Dingle's happiness no matter how much he wished, he could be the one to make him happy.  
  
Even now after everything spoken and unspoken between them, the embers of the fire they started together still smouldering within Robert's heart. It was useless he knew that, but he still loved him and he couldn't deny himself that fact. He would always love him and as far as Robert was concerned that would never change. It was a daily struggle and today would prove to be no different for him, the distance between them continuing to dampen that flame he was so desperate to keep alive. Robert was determined, stubborn and strong, always the strong one. He had to be strong in order to survive, forever the lone wolf in life alone in all things now, alone in his love. Or so he thought anyway.  
  
What was it about Valentine's Day that makes you feel more alone than ever? Robert tried not to think about how great he had it and how perfect last years was, he desperately needed a distraction. As always that distraction came in the form of his little sister and her ever nagging encouragement that he get back out there, move forward, meet someone new and just be happy. Just be happy Robert. Like it was that easy he thought to himself how rare true happiness, true love was how he had found it with Aaron; found it and lost it wondering how he could ever be happy again.  
  
Vic had organised some anti Valentine's Day night out with Bernice, Kerry and Vanessa in Leeds. To be honest if hell was a night out for Robert, it would be this one but maybe it would prove to be the distraction he so desperately needed. He agreed to go meeting them at the Woolpack at eight, he arranged to meet Aaron at the Mill at seven so at least this hellish night would give him an excuse to leave if he felt he needed to. Even now after all these months apart being around Aaron still hurt, actually caused him physical pain having to be so close to the man he never actually stopped loving knowing he had no right to now. Having to fight every instinct, every urge to say how much he still loved him, how he missed him every day, but Robert was strong. Good, he thought to himself because he was going to need to be tonight.  
  
The short walk up to The Mill felt like he was walking the green mile maybe an exaggeration on his part, but Robert always was a tad extra. How could a driveway, such a familiar route one he'd walked many times before hold such painful memories for him. Robert gulped as he knocked on the door swallowing not only any apprehension he had but also his pride, there was no room for pride tonight. Aaron welcomed him inside with a smile seeming relieved that he actually showed up at all to fulfil his promise to help him; but what are friends for huh. Friends. A new concept for Robert and Aaron a concept Robert was regularly reminded of, his new found friend zoned status reiterated not only with the recurrent use of the word ‘mate’ whenever he was in Aaron's presence, but also by every other member of Aaron's family, with the not so subtle mentioning of Alex at every given opportunity. It still hurt god it hurt like a bitch, like a thousand Alex shaped knives to his chest. Every. Single. Time but Robert was an expert, an expert at hiding his pain from others, just not so much from Aaron.  
  
Pleasantries were exchanged as always, that initial awkward silence had to be filled some how. Robert didn’t mind the idea of helping Aaron cook he actually enjoyed cooking, not that he did much of it anymore like most of what he used to enjoy doing it all seemed so pointless and empty now. But he wasn't going to let Aaron down again not when he'd promised. He got Aaron cutting the onions while he sorted out the rest of the important tasks that required actual skill and attention. After a while the atmosphere had changed between them it was felt nice, relaxed, normal even just the two of them alone being domesticated, cooking a meal together; the banter was as strong as it ever had been Aaron providing just the right amount of sass to the situation. The ease of being around eachother reminding them that this feeling, their friendship and companionship wasn't a new thing, it had always been there between them. They had always enjoyed one another's company forever making each other laugh; their smiles proving to dissolve any sense of awkwardness that may have been there at the start of the evening.  
  
Robert can't help but try and separate himself from the familiarity of the scene it's a self preservation thing. It didn't stop his mind wandering, remembering all the domestic scenarios they shared together. In the past their past, memories of times he'd tried to involve Aaron in the cooking of their dinners and how he had always protested. It brought a smile to his face one in which Aaron seemed to acknowledge, as though he was reliving the exact same memory; briefly smiling and nodding his head in Robert's direction like some unspoken acknowledgement between them. Robert came back to reality and with it remembering the reason he was actually with Aaron tonight. His heart plummeted at the realisation, he was actually helping the man he loves cook a romantic meal for someone else. Well not someone, Alex aka Mr Perfect. The physical embodiment of everything he wasn't, the one Aaron chose to be with 'Anyone, anyone but him' the words still haunting his mind and crushing his very soul.  
  
Aaron being the astute person he was had become aware of Robert's change in mood, he seemed to remove himself from the room without even leaving it. The soft smile he had seen just minutes before now turned to sadness, Aaron always knew when Robert was upset he always did,I guess this evening was to prove no different in that respect. He tried to lighten the mood with a story about Gerry thinking battery wires were the same as copper ones but this proved fruitless, barely even raising a smirk. He knew Robert inside out, better than he even knew himself, but he had no right to pry into his life now, so he didn't.  
  
Robert was in a rush to leave now he could feel himself losing what little resolve he had left, he knew the wall he had put up regarding everything  Aaron Dingle was in imminent danger of collapse. He could sense Aaron knew there was something wrong the atmosphere around the two of them had changed, the tension was palpable Robert knew it was time to leave. Informing Aaron the meal was all ready to go all he'd have to do was plate up; reassuring him that he wouldn't need his assistance to do that. He chose this moment to inform Aaron not because he thought he'd be interested, but by some warped sense of obligation; hoping he had a lovely evening and that he would be going into town to ‘find some happiness of his own’ quoting Vic. Robert laughed as he said this the mere notion of him being happy with anyone other than Aaron was laughable to him. Aaron responded with a half smile and a courteous nod, to be polite Robert assumed. In his haste to leave, Robert span around rather fast bumping into the stove as he attempted to reach his leather jacket; in doing so knocking the wooden spoon out of the saucepan, onto himself and his crisp white shirt now irrevocably ruined by its contents.  
  
At this, Aaron and Robert just looked at one another just for a moment before bursting out into laughter. It was the purest of moments, where with the spilling of some sauce, all of the past could be forgotten just for that brief moment in time, allowing them to just be themselves, together. It was clear now that Aaron's guard was down, the mere sight of the man standing before him was enough, well he wasn't just any man; he never was. Aaron's mind now flooded with memories of all the times Robert had made him genuinely smile, to laugh out loud causing him to feel a familiar warmth in his heart that felt so alien to him now.  
  
Before he had chance to think, he couldn't help but look at Robert. With nothing but the silence surrounding them, the only sound coming from the food bubbling on the hot stove behind them. What he said next took Robert by surprise 'We were happy weren't we? I mean really happy... once.’ The honestly of this question, this statement shocked Robert, he was unsure of why Aaron would bring up what they had, especially tonight of all nights, but he responded the only way he could with the truth, as raw as it was it couldn't hurt him now ‘Yeah we were, I hope you were, what we had, the time we shared together was the happiest I've ever been in my whole life, but I never deserved it...or you.’ For a few seconds Robert broke eye contact with the stove to look into Aaron's eyes, to give him the briefest of broken smiles, the pain the memories evoked in him etched on his face. Aaron could see it, he always could it matched his own pain; the minutes passed and no words left their lips just flashbacks of their history forming behind their eyes as they looked at one another.  Aaron couldn't stop himself, couldn't break eye contact with the man who could always see through every wall he'd ever built around his heart; this man with whom he had once been so contented. This man.  
  
The atmosphere was electric it was the only way to describe it so charged but so calm at the same time, piercing one another soul with the devotion expressed in their eyes. It was in this exact moment that all of it, the past, the present, the future it didn't matter to Aaron. The reality of what they were to each other right now, had little or no consequence to what he was about to do. Aaron's conscience taking a back seat his mind was no longer battling his heart for dominance, no one telling him what he felt was wrong, that they were apart for a reason, that they were over and he was with someone else now. Nothing. None of it mattered, everything he wanted, all he needed right now was the man standing before him. Robert. His Robert. Aaron was finally giving in to it his true feelings, allowing his heart a taste of what it so desperately craved. Robert.

Right now this was his chance, his moment to act so he did, Aaron grabbed Robert by his forearms pulling him closer  kissing him with such a want such a primal need. There was a desperation now to feel Robert's body up against his, Aaron pushing him into the kitchen cupboards. All of the bottled up emotion erupting in this single act of passion. Robert was in shock but he wasn't going to stop it what he had longed for for so long, Aaron's touch his hands on his skin  he felt alive he'd forgotten that feeling. This was it, they had finally given in, given into it all, both of them surrendering to the one person they couldn't help but love. The sound of hushed moans and heavy breathing was all that filled the air surrounding them.  
  
The beauty of this moment broken only by the sound of Liv bounding through the front door with Alex two steps behind her. Allowing them just enough time to break apart and fix their clothing; snapping them back to reality, out of how close they both were to giving in to one another. Hearing Alex's voice bringing Aaron back down to earth with a bump. Alex wasn't best pleased to see Robert with Aaron but when was he, he knew he would always be second best to Robert Sugden he was an intelligent man after all. Aaron explained quickly that Robert came over to help him cook their romantic meal as a favour, that proved to arouse little suspicion from Alex but why would it, it was the truth after all.  
  
This distraction had given Robert enough time to compose himself and fasten his jacket, hiding the mess that had started it all. He was already half way out the door when he felt the need to clarify to Alex why he was leaving, that he had a date himself and that's he'd hate to keep them waiting. Alex didn't need to know it was with his sister Alex didn't need to know any of it. Not once, not once did he look back at Aaron, maybe for fear that his resolve would falter or that he would break the dreamlike trance he was in following their stolen moment together. Wishing them a lovely evening he left, his lack of presence now leaving an emptiness in the room that only Aaron could feel.  
  
Tears started to form in Aaron's eyes, it was almost involuntary the emotion hitting him, just as hard as the realisation that of all the people in the room, Robert was the last person he would've ever wanted to leave. Alex was concerned that Aaron was upset automatically thinking Robert had done something to upset him, I mean he was right. Being the excellent deflector that Aaron was, he blamed the chopping of the onions for dinner and it worked. Liv had snook out behind Robert happy enough in the fact that she knew he wouldn't be there, leaving Aaron and Alex alone for the night. To be honest the last thing Aaron wanted was to be alone with Alex right now, when he knew what romance would be expected when in his mind he was running out that door, calling after Robert.

Before Aaron had chance to process his thoughts, Alex had already begun plating their food, setting the table for them both in that over confident way of his. Forced romance was the last thing Aaron needed, the last thing he wanted right now but Alex was determined as ever to shower him with compliments. It wasn't until the meal was finished that Aaron could sense the mood had changed, Alex seemed uncomfortable Aaron was hoping to himself that Alex was ending it, giving him an easy way out but when did Aaron ever have it that easy; it was the opposite in fact it was a declaration. An I love you to be exact.  
  
Aaron was dumbfounded, the man he had been dating not three months was telling him the three words anyone would relish in hearing. But he didn't. The only one he saw, all he could picture was Robert. His mind playing a slideshow of every time Robert had told him he loved him; all the times he'd said it back and meant it with every fibre of his being. If he said it now he'd be lying to Alex and to himself. Aaron knew, he'd always known with whom his heart truly lied; the truth being, after everything he only loved one man he'd never stopped. Robert Sugden. He always had and he always would.  
  
By this point Alex was becoming agitated Aaron hadn't said anything, to be honest Aaron didn't know what the hell he would say when he couldn't match the sentiment. Acting on impulse he kissed him; this way he didn't have to speak, didn't have to lie, didn't have to explain himself; putting his newly awakened feelings for Robert to the back of his mind for now anyway. He hadn't the energy to have his head fight his heart tonight, so he promised himself that he'd sleep on it, making sure he had no regrets. Aaron wasn't a monster he wasn't going to end it with Alex on Valentine's Day. The kissing intensified and he surrendered himself to it; imagining he was with Robert if their kiss was uninterrupted, if Robert had stayed with him and how he had never wanted him to leave.  
  
Robert was already three whiskeys into the evening now, that's how much fun he was having. Due to previous history Robert knew that too much whiskey wasn't a good idea swearing this would be his last one, a night cap he liked to tell himself, he had a lot of night caps lately. Whilst at the bar he had generated a lot of attention I mean they were only human right Robert told himself, causing him to laugh out loud at the lameness of the whole evening. One guy had even tried to swap numbers but he wasn't interested no one interested him. He made his excuses to the girls and left. When it came to Robert Jacob Sugden there was no one else only Aaron Dingle, nothing and no one else compared. He was IT for him, he meant it more than he'd ever meant anything in his life. For Robert it had always been clear, If he wasn't going to be with the man he loved he would settle for a life half lived; he had been lucky enough to have experienced what it was to love and be loved, it was enough for him, it was more than he had ever deserved. It was the reason he had embraced the notion of his and Aaron's friendship, because the alternative, a life without Aaron Dingle wouldn't be worth living. It wasn't an option.  
  
Aaron was half asleep, half awake contemplating what his future would hold and who he would be sharing it with. Stirred only by the light of his phone on his bedside table, a text message, from Robert apologising for earlier, hoping emphasis on the hope, that they could still be friends. Friends. That word cut Aaron deeper than he thought, a word that not even twelve hours ago evoked nothing from him, to a word so devastating to him now.

Now at two o clock in the morning in his bedroom, their bedroom where ever corner of it had been designed by Robert for them. It was pitch black except for the light from his mobile, the text Robert had sent him being the light in the darkness. It dawned on Aaron, that that night had led to his sudden awakening of his true feelings, those feelings he had hidden so well for so long, long enough. He knew during that realisation, that the wall he had around his heart had crumbled, when he kissed Robert that evening. The kiss proving as a moment of deliverance for Aaron, freeing himself and his heart from the prison he had created. He knew he didn't want to be Robert's friend, he wanted them to be best friends, lovers and soulmates. Like they always were, like they always would be.  
  
Alex started to stir next to him, the reality of the situation he was now in becoming ever more clear to him. Whether he wanted to or not he was going to have to hurt Alex, because him being perfect just wasn't enough. Perfection was never something Aaron wanted from life; he wanted, he needed, he loved Robert, he was going to get him back.  
  
Reaching over to his nightstand, as quietly as he could the last thing he wanted was to wake Alex up; Aaron opened the top drawer which let's be honest, had become something of a ritual these last six months. He didn't need any light to know where it would be, it was always in the same place, lovingly tucked behind some hidden photos of their wedding day; an object that Aaron had held close to his heart, a watch, Robert's watch. It had never actually been missing it was a physical part of Robert that remained, it stayed with Aaron in their home, in their bedroom close to his heart. Robert had never left not really he was just missing, the missing piece, the key to Aaron's happiness.

The smile on Aaron's face disturbing the silent tears that fell from his eyes. He was finally free from the prison in which he had placed himself. His own heart a prisoner of what was expected of him, what everyone else told him to do. Well not anymore, Aaron was his own man he made his own decisions and it was his own life. He was the keeper of Robert's watch but Robert had always been the keeper of his heart. He was going to be the strong one from now on, he was going to get his man back and they would have the kind of happiness they both deserved. Aaron knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he didn't want easy, he wanted messed up forever with Robert Sugden.

Unbeknownst to Aaron little more than a stones throw away in Keepers Cottage; Robert was also in bed reliving their kiss, a kiss as fleeting as it was gave his life meaning, running his fingers over his bottom lip, he couldn't help the smile it created. It was late and Robert was tired reaching over to turn off the light; he couldn't help but have a quick glance repeating the same thing he did every night before he slept. Opening the top drawer of his nightstand to find the familiar oak double ring box tucked inside, briefly opening it and smiling at the memories, the sentiment that still remained within it. Robert found himself unable to resist running his fingers over the two silver rings that were nestled there, they were always kept together always, forever, together.


End file.
